Traitor by Hawra’a Khalfan

Take the care I had for you,
exhale in a balloon made up of your deepest hopes,
and burst it with my bare teeth.

Take all the thoughts I had about you,
all the moments I wasted with you jolting recklessly into my mind
at all odd hours of the day,
and charge them into that abyss you seem to be living in.

I want to wreck you.

Shatter you.

Power over your stubbornness.
until you’re unable of ever going a day
without regretting
how you crumbled us up with your bare hands
crushing our dreams
with casual routine.

I would have loved you,
had you let me
I would have loved you
had you….
I would have shaken you awake,
because darling,
no amount of water would have put out our blaze.

Take all the moments you stole from me,
and blend them with the repulsed feeling I get when I remember your face,
and walk away
smiling.

Traitor by Layla

Cold stinging winters;
I no longer feel you,
you no longer bother me,
not in the same way that you used to.
My skin has turned thick,
my heart has hardened by what has become.
I no longer feel pain,
I no longer feel anything towards you.
Continue reading

Traitor by Merriam AlFuhaid

You look at me like I have betrayed you. Have I? Or have I only betrayed the expectations you had of the person you wanted me to be? I don’t think that is the same thing. I don’t think my life is related to the feelings I have towards you. You disagree, but then, you don’t understand why you drive people away. I would not leave you, but I understand everyone who has. Perhaps it wasn’t right, but I know exactly how they felt. Continue reading

Traitor by Hind

She looked out the window, alarmed by the rattling of the gate. A cloud of dust edged towards the trees. The branches swayed apprehensively, scaring the birds away from their nests. But the sand kept moving, indifferent to the destruction it brought to her home’s garden. Continue reading

Traitor by Rawa

It started in her chest.
Bloomed like a lily,
opened like a fist uncurling to show palm
fingers outstretched to prod against and bother what was unbeknownst to what still moved inside her for her.
It started in her chest and grew.

And when the x-rays came in it was there undeniably.
There like a presence in the backlight
like your eyes playing tricks in the dark
when you’re trying to get to sleep but some parts of the black seem blacker
except with this
there was no mistaking it.
No shrugging yourself off, falling asleep though fitful
and waking up with what was imagined forgotten.
It was there,
the unwanted guest that forced itself in
but the truth was the guest itself was family.
Baby cell born from parents split in half to give it life
but it betrayed them and it betrayed her.

And the heart beat on. I wonder if it knew.
Pumped blood to keep blood inside skin,
kept going kept going kept going.
Lungs still brought in breath and kept breathing
And the stomach kept digesting
but all that was eaten went to feed the monster in her body.
the traitor. Reproducing relatives that were traitors too.

I suppose we’re called survivors when our bodies turn against us but
it’s not as if we’re given the choice anyway.
And she was trying for one more day.
one more glimpse of her granddaughters’ smile,
one more forehead kiss from her son
one more bite of knafa
one more meal she could cook for her children
and one more time she could hold his hand
like they were kids again
he who had appeared like a dream when they were younger.
I suppose we’re all heroes when we’ve got something to live for.

And when the time came she knew.
Woke up her last day and knew the final chaos would begin.
It wasn’t a matter of giving up or giving in.
The growth decided that it was happening
and though all that was within had tried
the heart that had been beating stopped going.

And something in her loves clicked off as well.
Organs turned hard and hearts turned cold.
And tears wouldn’t come though they sat in
their chests like a stone.
They wondered if this pain was what she had felt too.
They wished for one more day.
But the days passed without her.
I suppose we’re called fighters when we’ve got something to be sad for
but it’s not as if we’re given the choice anyway.

Traitor by Toby Al-R

In the hallway of time, that leads to the forbidden chamber of memories
I stand immobilized with my feet glued onto the polished tiles
The light recedes for the nightmares to invade the place like a group of mercenaries
The walls turn black, I stand like a shadow inside the darkness.
I merge with the nothingness
My feet crumble underneath me, I fall…
Into a field of dead snow; covering a grey grass with fractured leaves
Where trees are growing upside down
Their roots are performing an acrobatic dance in the dimmed sky
They curl and swirl above my eyes, they cuddle and struggle then drop a broken twig
Or is it?
It is moving… could it be a slug?
Leaving behind it a trail of slime
Of all the unworthiness it contained, it pulls its body, drags its burden and attempts to leave the field of dead snow
Seeking new horizons, perhaps a stairway to the lands beyond reality
But it is cold… cold enough to crack the ground open and swallow you into a tunnel leading to a lower level
Of layer beyond layer of charcoaled burnt ashes of forgotten words, names, faces and moments
The dusty smell ignites your senses, like a resurrection of the dead. Your dead heart-
And just before the complete surrender, to the dull emptiness… the slug grew wings
Not any wings… but colorful ones
It shifted itself into a butterfly
Leading behind it a silky wave of joy
It slowly wrapped me up like a mummy in a beautiful coffin
I opened my eyes again to the sound of the whispering slug
“You promised to never look back into the wasted past, you promised me to never betray your vow!”
I look at the vastness of the place I have been taken to, at the magnificent landscape hungrily waiting for me…
I then gently lean down and reply; “never again will I be a traitor.”

Traitor by Bader A. Shehab

Remember back in Rabat?
When the wind blew against our cheeks,
with it sticks to your derm the sea salt, on the edges of your nostrills: the fresh bakery, the durum wheat stew, and the remedies of their hands.

Do you remember before I left the city? The promises we made,
from the cradle to the grave,
you know how we would not desert one another and whatnot,
it was all that repetitive cliché and hopeless romances,
which we episodically performed on every Tuesday night while the retired blues band played their sorrowing sway away into the haze. We danced and I held your hips, from ballroom to ballroom, wasn’t that fun back then?

Do you recall and find it in your heart the first night I got on stage for you? The Parisian one-man theater, I mastered and learned, just for you. All I wanted was to see your smile under the moonlit starry nights, amongst the many faces in the candlelights. Then I got in the fighting ring for you and lost touch with my senses when I bled and sweat for you, you chanted my name in the echoes of the stadium, amongst the crowd you were all I could see and hear.

Do you remember when I carried you across the Andalusia park to the car when it rained heavily so that you don’t ruin your Tom Fords? Do you remember when I held your long and slender body along the flat board as you swallowed salt water on tiny baby waves trying to learn how to surf? That was fun, wasn’t it?

Do you remember when I watched you walk across the ocean lines, the winds playing on your summer dress, the sea weed sticking on your ankle lace, and the sand under the edges of your nail polish. Do you remember? That Spanish song that goes “Baila, Baila Mi” and we promised we’ll keep it as our song and we’ll play it for our children one day, how does one move on and simply forget all about that? The sounds that I hear as I ask myself such questions are nothing but fainted heartbeats and cringing doors closing. Good bye to my yesteryears, please do write me back, pick the pen up sometime.